i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
