I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
