But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
