I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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