Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
