then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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