I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
