I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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