Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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