I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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