life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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