It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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