We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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