it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize