You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
