I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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