There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
