I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
