i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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