Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
