She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
