Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize