I must be too annoying 4 u.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
