i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
organizing the empties. That sober.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
