I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
