ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
