I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
