Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize