Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize