i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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