can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize