I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
