Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.

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(713): View more from Texas

you win again, gameday.

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(240): View more from Maryland

So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti

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(425): View more from Washington

I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.

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(208): View more from Idaho

MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!

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