i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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