we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
