then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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