I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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