Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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