I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
