Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
