Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
