my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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