my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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