New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
