We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
