I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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