I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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