So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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