dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
