IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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