Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
