is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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