you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
