I could have mohawked her pubes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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