If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize