haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
