If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think people are normalizing furries
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
