There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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