who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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